You Might be a Stupid Hoe If…: Apologies and Not So Much

Woo woo woow oowoo woowowo wow ow ow owo  wowoo woo wo ow ow owowoww

Come one, come all
O people who somehow
Hate Nicki Minaj

I was thinking earlier: am I a Nicki Minaj apologist? As I listened to Stupid Hoe while I biked to the office, I felt guilty for singing along with the problematic lyrics in the song. I don’t like her comparisons between Angelina and Jen, and who is with Brad and who is not. As if Brad were something special… dude had like three good movies that I can think of (specifically Babel, Snatch, and Fight Club). ANYWAY, I just sorta… overlooked the whole line. I guess she’s allowed to feel like being with Brad Pitt is superior to not being with Brad Pitt, however woman-reducing that thought may seem to me. At the end of the song, she says she “[is] the female Weezy” Of course I asked why Weezy isn’t the male Nicki Minaj? I was vehement about that question. I guess in the end I justified it by arguing that Weezy preceded Minaj. That is my Minajical Apology.

Now for what we are all here today:
Nicki Minaj is so awesome.

Let’s all agree on certain things, in order for this post to convey the point I am trying to make– agreeable or not.

1. What is a stupid hoe?
I normally would quote the most reliable source, Urban Dictionary, but seeing as it has been taken over by a faction of HATERS, UD is partisan. I would quote the second most realiable source, the OED, BUT it has no entries for such a term. Sad. I guess I’ll have to propose my own definition. (pssshh no it’s not partisan)

Stupid hoe
A. (adj. + n.)
a. a person (usually woman) who ships wood instead of platinum
b. a person (usually woman) who talks as though she were the queen when in fact is resembles a laboratory vermin

a. Baby bop, Bubbles, etc.
b. Sons of Nicki Minaj, and of whom she wants not custody.

The “problem” with this song, I think, lies in the fact that she repeats “You a stupid hoe” more times than I can be bothered to count. I guess this disturbs white people (I need to make a post wherein I clarify what I mean by that), religious people “with morals”, and people who think that they are better than others.* The real problem is that said people have a skewed perception of, and maybe a preconceived notion about Nicki. Oh, she’s a rapper, and rappers are awful. Oh, she says ugly, vulgar things. Oh, she couldn’t think of anything smarter to say. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah get that shit outta my face. But it’s ok if guys say it; she’s a lady and should act as such. We all know how I feel towards this misogyny.

The important thing here is she feels that stupid hoes are making her life more difficult. We should not expect every womyn to foster a sense of sisterhood at all times. The truth of the matter is that some people are difficult. And these people are the object of her song. What’s wrong with that? People piss me off too, and had I the verbal prowess and sense of rhythm of Nicki Minaj, believe me I would be rapping about it too. Sometimes bitches be trippin, and all I can do is blog about it to my two readers, one of them being my mom (and only when she feels like it). Male rappers come out with songs like this A L L the time. I feel like almost every song I have heard rapped at some point degrades other people. But because Nicki Minaj, the flamboyant, fabulous, extremely sexy, absurdly talented, eccentric woman said it, her song is somehow the loudest and most obnoxious. Thanks, whack-o society. If you find yourself hating this song more than almost any other rap song, check yourself. You might be what she’s talking about. YOU might be the stupid hoe.

Fret not, there is a way out. You can befriend Nicki. You can come back. She is a forgiving, loving entity.

* It’s funny. People who think they are better than others should be singing this song the loudest. I honestly wonder why everyone doesn’t love this song? It’s about self love (sure, degrading to others… but those others are unworthy; we all know a few unworthy people here and there). And it’s about self esteem. I feel like the baddest bitch in all the land when I bike in my booty shorts blasting this song on my earbuds. I feel like I, Michelle, get it cracking like a bad back too.

Um if you don’t know the lyrics to this song, the allusions in this post may appear nonsensical. Whatevies I guess.



That’s probably not a word, but today I don’t care!
Here are some links to some useful .pdfs/sites about writing and words and such.

a very basic glossary of terms or, I guess, you could go here

Chekhov’s Gun, used to kill people(‘s emotions)

Ah, Vonnegut’s tips for writing fiction. Fiction is something I will never be able to tackle. But maybe you..?

Setting aside my love/hate relationship with Kerouac, here is an unquestionably good post about his writing tips. You would think that I would be blindly in love with him judging by the fact that I love the content of this article enough to post it here…

Speaking of Kerouac, were you looking for a guide to grammar?

For all my fellow lexophiles…

Etymologically speaking… Even the domain is AWESOME. Gatsby, wassup?

Here are some facts about Englishshshshshshsh

And finally…

This is something you should definitely read, and if you’ve already read it, read again.

Until next time, friends.

Recommendations pt 1

Hey all you crazy Murakami fans,

I have a feeling that you would enjoy the works of Tom Robbins. I’ve only read one of his books, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, but I’m sure his other books are excellent as well. Both Murakami and Robbins are very… out there. Additionally, Robbins’ syntax/style is definitely one of my top 3 favorites. He is ever so talented in the art of stringing together words to make them sound as a song, much like Turgenev, in fact. I’ll have to review Fathers and Sons when I return from my trip abroad.

Anyway! Consider Robbins for your next read! Though, allow me to warn you: if you’re not into (sexually) explicit detail, if I were you, I’d probably just leave it alone.

Au revoir!